Period cramps clenched Aura Owen’s stomach as she lay curled on the thin mattress in the tent. The air inside of the tent was stifling and a sheen of sweat glistened on her limbs as she groaned in agony.
The sound of the zipper at the door of the tent suddenly made her stiffen. Her father, Cliff Owens, poked his head inside and snapped, “Get your lazy ass inside and help your mom out.”
A particularly sharp pain stabbed her insides, making her lose control for just long enough to get out the words, “No. You help her for once in your life.” The moment the words had left her lips, Aura knew that she’d pay for them.
”Why, you stupid…” her father’s face was twisted in outrage as he dove into the tent and grabbed her bare ankle, yanking her towards him.
Aura yelped and sat upright, her face now just inches away from his. She could see the redness taking over his features and she knew that she was moments away from being backhanded, “I’m sorry, Daddy. I … I have really bad cramps and I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful. Please. I’m sorry.”
The punch came anyway, but the power behind it was muted, causing only a dull throb across her lower jaw when it landed.
”Keep talking back and I’ll give you more, girl. Now go inside and watch the kids.”
Fully aware that she’d managed to evade a full blown beating, Aura let her long hair fall down like a curtain across her face, hiding her relief from her father as she stumbled awkwardly out of the tent. She could feel his eyes on her as she crossed the small space between her tent and camper. The grubby front door was already open and Aura could hear her baby sister, Lark, wailing from inside.
A cacophony of sound assaulted her as soon as she stepped up inside of their tight living quarters. Her mom, Lynda Owens, was holding the baby with one arm, while attempting to stuff dirty clothes into a rolling hamper with the other.
Glen, Reed, and Roan, ranging in age from ten to five, were standing on the pull out couch hitting each other with light sabers picked up from a garage sale, while Sage, Aura’s oldest brother at twelve, sat up front in the passenger seat, studiously avoiding the chaos as he read a book.
”Thank god,” Aura’s mom said, handing the squalling ten month old off to her waiting arms, “See if you can get her to settle down. Your dad’s going to have a right fit if you don’t.”
Aura immediately set to bouncing her baby sister on her hip in the rhythmic way that all her siblings had loved. As Lark’s sobs quieted, Aura watched as her mom finished shoving dirty clothes in the hamper, “I could come with you, Momma.” She said, hopefully.
”That’s alright. I’ll go quicker if I’m by myself,” Lynda raised her perpetually sad eyes to look at her eldest, “Besides, you know your dad will want you to keep these boys from murdering each other.”
Aura sighed, silently. She knew very well that that wasn’t the reason. She knew that her father would stay outside the entire time that his wife was up at the laundry room of the campsite because he firmly believed that watching after kids, even if they were your own, was a woman’s job.
*
A few hours later, with Lark asleep in her parents’ bed, and the younger boys settled at the table making robots out of sticks and string, Aura lifted the bent blinds, searching for her father. She could just see the tops of his legs from right below the window so she knew he was sitting in his lawn chair, probably listening to the baseball game on his transistor radio. Another bolt of pain shot through her abdomen, making her clench her teeth as she waited for it to pass. When it did, she peered out the window again; her mother was heading back to the camper, her hands draped across the stack of clothes that rose up out of the unwieldy hamper, whose tiny wheels bounced wildly on the uneven dirt road that winded its way through the campground.
“You guys keep still,” Aura instructed them, as she went to the door, “I’m going to help mom.” She burst out of the door, knowing full well that her father would just sit there watching his wife struggle rather than lift a hand. When she reached her mother, she told her to stop while she grabbed the pile of clean clothes off of the top.
”Thanks for that, Aura, but I’m sure I would have managed,” Lynda nodded imperceptibly towards her husband, “Your father would have helped.”
A snort of disbelief bubbled up out of Aura’s throat, “No he wouldn’t have,” she exclaimed, but softly, lest her words drift to her father, “Momma, why do you pretend he’s some kind of hero when we both know he’s not.”
”Aura, stop right there, child. You know not to talk like that about your daddy. He, he has a lot on his mind.”
”Yeah, a lot of nothing, Momma,” Aura closed her eyes briefly, waiting for another cramp to pass, “You need to leave him,” she opened her eyes, “I could help now, Momma. I’m nearly sixteen. I could get a job…”
Lynda jerked the cart over a rut, “Don’t be silly, girl. Your daddy loves us. It’s not his fault that he can’t control his temper. He’s going through a hard time, that’s all.”
”A hard time, huh?” Aura’s eyes bored into her mother’s, “Seems like he’s been going through a hard time since I was born then, cause all I’ve ever known is his abuse.”
They were nearing the campsite now, and Aura noted that her father had stood up, his attention fully on them as they continued walking. Beside her, her mother’s entire demeanor suddenly reflected her nervousness; it was as if her entire body shrunk in on itself, preparing for the assault that might come.
Aura knew that it was on her to deflect it. Still carrying the stack of clothes, she stomped hurriedly away from her mother, her every move designed to indicate that they had had some sort of dispute. Her expression was one of teenage fury as she stormed past her father, crying, “That woman! Ugh, she makes me so mad!”
”What the hell is going on now between the two of you?” Her father was intrigued, as he was whenever there was a fight to see.
Aura turned around, simultaneously patting herself on the back, and trying to come up with something that she could have argued with her mother about. Her eyes came to rest on their rusty, old four- door Buick Century, “I wanted to learn how to drive and she said no!” Aura exclaimed, as her mother finally reached them.
”Stop such nonsense, Aura,” her mother clamped her lips firmly, clearly wanting to end the matter, now that it had served its purpose, “There’s no need for you to drive. Your daddy does a wonderful job.”
”Whatever!” Aura whipped the metal door open and hurried into the camper with a tiny half smile playing on her lips.
*
The twigs snapped under Aura’s frayed tennis shoes as she searched for pine cones in the sun dappled grounds of the campground. She was eternally finding ways to keep her little brothers entertained so that they wouldn’t get on their father’s nerves and crafts were always a hit. Anything was better than doing the homeschooling books that their momma usually insisted on for a good chunk of the day.
A flying insect buzzed her ear as she spied a Coulter pine tree that was nearly hanging off the cliff at the edge of the grounds. Excited, Aura rushed over, threw her legs over the metal barrier that ran all along the cliff side, and started collecting the giant pinecones that covered the slope.
”Hey, you’re not supposed to go over the barrier. You could fall.”
Aura looked up. A young guy, similar in age to herself, with surfer hair and a surfer tan, was holding his arm out to her over the railing, his intentions clear.
”I’m fine.” Aura snapped, feeling self conscious in her cut off jean shorts and stained t-shirt.
”Fine, then at least let me take some of those from you.” The boy nodded at the enormous pinecones that Aura was clutching in her arms.
She understood then that he wasn’t going to leave, at least not until she allowed him to play super hero, so she started back up the slippery slope, sliding indelicately several times, which further caused her embarrassment, as she flailed around trying to keep her armful of pinecones while also attempting to keep from falling backwards down the embankment.
As she finally reached the metal barrier, he gently grabbed her arm and held her while she stepped over it. She desperately wanted to run away from him, but she forced herself to do the proper thing, “Thank you.’ She whispered, right before she started running, arms clutching the pokey pinecones, keenly aware of his eyes on her as she did so.
”Wait,” he cried, “Wait. I didn’t get your name.”
A peep of alarm slipped from her lips as she kept running. She didn’t dare stop until she had rounded the corner of the camp office/launderette/game room/store, when she paused long enough to gather her wits and her breath.
A boy was most certainly not on her supposed to do list. Her father would have a conniption if he ever found out she had been that close to one, even if she had barely said two words to him. Knowing that didn’t stop her from feeling a knot of some emotion she’d never had before though, and it was an emotion that she wanted to think on, but she couldn’t right then, but maybe later, maybe later she would.
*
Aura dumped the package of hotdogs into the simmering water and checked the small cabinet to see if they had any hotdog buns; they didn’t. She reached for the loaf of bread instead.
”Hey, do we have any ketchup?” Her brother, Glen, asked, as he shoved Reed for no good reason.
”Stop being mean and look for it yourself.” Aura grabbed a fork and stirred the hotdogs. She was snappy, she knew, but she couldn’t help it. Sleep had been a long time coming the past two nights. She knew what needed to be done, of course. She had to stop thinking about that boy. Simple, but also not.
”Almost done with those dogs?” Her dad asked from the door of the camper.
”Yeah, I’ll make you some. Just give me a minute.”
Aura heard the door close as she fished two hotdogs out and placed them on two slices of bread. She squirted some mustard on top of them, deposited a scoop of baked beans and a handful of chips on the plate, and turned to take it out to her dad, “Sage, could you make Momma a plate, please?” She asked her eldest brother in a low voice. Her father did not allow the boys to help her or their mother with anything that he considered women’s work. Secretly though, Sage and sometimes Glen, as well, would help out if asked. Sage nodded, placing his book aside as she started outside.
”Here you go, Daddy.” Aura gave him the plate, intending to go back inside, but he stopped her.
”Don’t rush off, I need to talk to you, girl.”
A flood of anxiety took hold of Aura. Had he seen her talking to the boy then? Was that what this was about? Her hands found each other, fingers nervously clasping as she stood in front of him, “What is it, Daddy?”
”I’ve been thinking about what you said … about learning to drive …”
Aura heard her momma gasp, even as her own eyes opened wide and her mouth dropped open in outright shock. Never in a million years had she been expecting those words to come out of her fCli
”Cliff, surely you ‘re not serious.” Lynda instinctively gave him a way out.
”Of course I am,” he looked up at Aura, “I’ve been thinking of moving on to another place. Maybe head up to Oregon. We’re going to need someone to drive the car,” he suddenly tossed a booklet at her, “You got two days to study that before I take you to get your written exam.”
”But, Cliff, you don’t even know if that thing will get us all the way to Oregon,” Lynda exclaimed, “That man was just trying to get someone to take it off of his hands.”
”It runs just fine, Lynda, don’t you worry about that,” he glared up at Aura, “Two days. You’ll pass the first time cause I ain’t going back.”
*
That evening, after studying the booklet for several hours, Aura jumped at the chance to run to the mini store in the main building to pick up some infant Tylenol for Lark, who seemed to be coming down with something, so that she could see if the boy and his family had left the campground. Part of her hoped that they had, but the other part wanted him to still be there so desperately.
She paid for the medicine and then wandered the dirt path that wound its way through the campsites, her eyes searching for him. Her heart jumped inside her chest when she finally saw him. He was sitting at a picnic table with what looked to be his parents and another boy, this one younger than him, and he was staring right at her as she meandered up the trail. She hastily averted her gaze but it was too late because the next thing she knew, he was jogging towards her.
”Hey,” he said, as he reached her, “I was wondering if I would see you again.”
She attempted a smile, but she was suddenly so nervous that it probably looked like she was having a stroke, instead.
”My name is Adam, by the way. What’s yours?”
”Aura …” she managed.
”That’s a pretty sick name. Aura. Yeah, I like it. It suits you.”
She wanted to ask him why he thought that, but she was stressed on account of the way the light was fading fast and the realization that Lark was probably back in the camper screaming and if she didn’t get back soon, her dad would surely come looking for her. She attempted another smile, and said, “Adam, I can’t talk right now. I need to get this medicine back to my little sister.” Could he tell that she didn’t want to leave? She hoped so.
”Ah, yeah, no worries. Maybe I’ll see you around?”
”Yes,” she said, “Yes, I’ll be around.”
”Cool. See you, Aura.” He beamed at her, his smile as radiant as the sun.
As she stumbled away, all she could think about was how she wanted to see that smile every day for the rest of her life.
*
Aura walked out of the testing facility with her newly issued learner’s permit clutched in her hand. It had all happened so fast that she could scarcely believe it was even real, but she could feel the paper fluttering in the wind.
They reached the car and her father tossed the keys at her, “Get behind the wheel, big shot.”
She stared at him, her eyes blinking rapidly in confusion, “What? Now? You want me to drive right now?”
”Hell yeah I want you to drive right now,” he bellowed, as he rounded the car and headed for the passenger’s side, “Isn’t that the whole fucking point of that there paper in your hand?”
She slid behind the wheel and tried to remember what came next.
”Put the damn key in the ignition, idiot. I thought you passed the test.”
His hateful words brought her out of her stupor. He was right, at least about passing the test. She’d aced it. It was time to act like it. To prove to him that she was fully capable of driving the car. This was a way out of the camper. A way to be alone for the entire time it took to drive up the California coast and all the way to Oregon. She had to figure it out. She just had to. She started the car, and eased it out of the parking spot, her fingers gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles were white.
Two hours later, when she finally steered the car to rest behind the motorhome, Aura tentatively glanced at her father for confirmation that she’d done a good job.
“Guess I’m still alive.” Was all he said as he grunted getting out of the car.
*
“Momma, is it alright if I go look for more things to craft with?” Aura asked, as she watched her mother fold the dishrag and place it carefully on the edge of the tiny sink. They’d prepared breakfast, fed everyone, and cleaned up all in the matter of an hour, and Aura knew that the boys would be fairly placid for at least that long, piled like puppies in front of the little TV, watching cartoons. It was now or never, if she ever hoped to see Adam again. Frankly, she was worried that he would be gone and if it were true, she would be heartbroken.
”Go on and go, child, but be quick.”
Aura rushed out of the door. A cursory glance told her that her father wasn’t in his usual spot out front, but she didn’t let that slow her down. As she neared the spot where Adam’s family had camped, Aura was devastated to see it now empty. She was too late. A deep sadness welled up inside of her at the thought of never seeing him again, of never getting the chance to tell him about how their chance encounters had made her feel. He’d made her feel hopeful for the first time ever in her life, made her feel like she might dare to dream of a future that wasn’t filled with, well, all the hell it had been filled with.
A solitary tear rolled down her cheek and she rubbed it away. Resolutely, she turned and started back the way she’d come.
“Aura! Aura, wait!”
Aura’s heart started galloping in her chest. She whirled around. Adam was running towards her.
”Adam, I thought you had left.” She managed, as she waited for him to reach her.
He stopped in front of her, his beautiful smile mesmerizing her, “We did. I mean, we are. We’re leaving. My parents are up at the office checking out. I swear I was going to walk the whole damn campground in order to find you…”
”You were?” Aura was stunned that anyone would think to look for her, but also grateful that it hadn’t come to that.
”Sure was. Hey, look what I have,” he pulled a cell phone from his pocket, “Let me get your number so we can talk.”
Aura’s face flushed, “No, I … uh, I, I don’t have a phone.”
”Hey, no worries. That’s okay. Just give me your home phone then.”
“No, I can’t,” she felt so embarrassed, “I … we don’t have a phone.”
”Oh.”
”My, uh … well, my parents don’t think we …”
”Hey, yeah, I understand,” Adam’s smile returned, “Some parents can be pretty strict, right?”
Aura realized that he thought the only reason that she didn’t have a cell phone was because her parents didn’t want her to have one, not that they couldn’t afford one. Still, whatever worked. She nodded quickly, happy to save herself further humiliation.
He reached for her hand, “Let me give you mine then.”
Aura felt the warmth of his skin against her own as he wrote out his number on her palm. She closed her eyes, desperate to imprint the feeling into her memory somehow, so that she could always have it.
Suddenly, she felt a heavy hand fall on her shoulder and then she was swung around and grabbed by the wrist.
”What the hell is going on here, girl?” Her father’s deliriously angry face confronted her eyes.
”Daddy!” She exclaimed, as she darted a look back at Adam. He was just as stunned as she was.
”Whoever the hell you are, get the fuck away from my daughter.” Cliff spat, as he half lunged at Adam.
”Daddy, stop it!” Aura cried, mortified by the way that Adam stepped backwards, clearly a bit afraid of how her father was behaving.
Adam suddenly looked right at her, “Aura?” His voice was a whisper, “Aura are you okay?”
Aura felt her father’s grip tighten on her wrist. She had to calm things down. She couldn’t allow him to get involved. It would only make things worse. Fighting back tears, she said, “Yes. Of course I’m okay. I’m grounded. I wasn’t supposed to go out and looks like I got caught.”
Adam’s expression told her that he wasn’t sure if he should believe her, but another glance at the threatening visage of her father obviously convinced him. He nodded slowly and turned away.
Grateful, Aura didn’t even mind as she felt her father release her hand. He shoved her forward, growling, “Get on home now, before I decide to lose my temper right out here in the damn street.”
The moment she reached the door, her father pushed her inside and thumped her upside the head. She knew it was coming. She also knew a lot worse was coming and she steeled herself.
She was spun around as her father spat, “What, are you whoring yourself out now, Aura? Is that where you’ve been going?”
Behind her, Aura heard Sage gasp softly and tears sprung to her eyes again. The hardest thing about bearing the brunt of her father’s rage was knowing that it was witnessed by her younger siblings. She could bear all of the slaps and punches, but what tore her apart was the knowledge that her brothers were being indoctrinated. Her father had never laid a hand on the boys, preferring to take out his wrath on her and her mother, but that didn’t mean they weren’t taking damage.
”Cliff, what in heaven’s name happened?” Lynda’s voice was thready with anxiety as she attempted to take the attention away from her daughter. It was a common technique, employed by both of them when one or the other was under assault. It never worked but they still tried.
”Your fucking daughter is apparently a whore, Lynda,” Cliff grabbed Aura’s hair and yanked her around to face her mother, “Did you know that? Did you know that she snuck out to play around with some boy?”
“I didn’t even know him that well,” Aura tried to explain, “He helped me when I dropped some pine cones, that’s all. I swear.”
”Then what’s this, huh?” Cliff yanked her hand up, revealing the number inked on her palm, “I told you never to lie to me, girl.”
“I’m not lying, Daddy.”
His hand shot out and she felt her ear ring as the blow landed on her cheek. Another one made her nose bleed. Dimly, as if it were coming from another room, Aura heard her mother cry, “That’s enough, Cliff. Settle down now.” The blows kept coming, and her mind was off in another galaxy far, far away, until she somehow managed to see through swollen eyelids her sweet, introverted little brother, Sage, rush her father. With every bit of will left in her, Aura knew that she couldn’t let him come to her defense. She couldn’t let him try to save her because it would only bring their father’s rage down on him.
“Sage, I’m okay,” She cried, through swollen lips. She held her arms out, forming a barrier between her brother and her father, “See, I’m fine. It’s okay,” she turned to face her father, “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m so sorry. I … I just wanted to talk to someone my own age. I won’t do it again, Daddy. I promise.”
Her father shoved past her, done now, his rage released. He stomped down the two stairs and went out the door, leaving his family to somehow gather themselves after the storm had decimated their world.
*
“Aura, let me see your face,” her mother grabbed her chin gently, turning her face this way and that in the light that spilled in through the window, “Looks a lot better,” she announced, then, “That’s good. I need you to run up to the store and get Lark some milk. She must be having a growth spurt or something cause we’ve run out.”
“Wouldn’t Daddy mind?”
”He’s went out to put gas in the car. If you hurry, you should make it back before he even knows you left.” Her mother pressed some money into her palm.
Aura stood up. Her jaw hurt, but she was feeling stronger. Still, she knew that the bruising hadn’t disappeared yet. She would have to keep her head down when she paid at the register in order to avoid any questions. As she reached the door, her momma said, “There might be a little change left. Not much, but maybe enough to make a call from the pay phone.”
Aura turned back to look at her. Her mother just shrugged and said, “If you remembered the number, that is.”
“Momma, are you sure?”
”Go on, before I change my mind.”
All the way to the store, Aura wondered why her mom had given her permission to call Adam. They’d never discussed that day, not once, even though she’d wanted to. Of course she’d wanted to, but there had never been a chance; her father had been watching her like a hawk.
She reached the store, and, just as she’d prepared, she kept her head down as she paid for the milk. Change in hand, she marched confidently out the door and around the corner where the pay phone was located. Her confidence suddenly plummeted. What in the world was she going to say? She’d never called anyone before, and certainly not a boy. As uncertainly plagued her, Aura looked around, searching for any sign of her dad, but the coast was clear. It was now or never. She swallowed back her fear and dropped the change into the slot. With quivering fingers she dialed the number that she’d committed to memory.
”Hello?” A woman’s voice answered.
”Uhm, hello, uhm, is, uhm, can I talk to Adam?” Aura slumped against the pay phone, feeling mortified at how ridiculous she sounded to herself.
”Sure, just let me get him.”
As she waited, Aura kept her head on a swivel, searching for any reason to hang up.
”Hello.” Adam’s voice suddenly spoke into her ear. A flush of warmth surprised her, making her want to drop the phone, but she fought back the urge.
”Adam, it’s me. Aura.”
”Aura, hey. Wow. I wasn’t sure I would ever hear from you.”
”I, uh, well, I only just got ungrounded, so …”
”Oh, sure. Hey, don’t even worry about it. I mean, your dad seemed pretty mad, so I figured you’d have to lay low.”
”Yeah. Yeah, I did.” Her hand gripped the phone tightly. She was thrilled that he seemed to still think that she was just a normal girl from a normal family. She hadn’t even realized until that moment how worried she’d been that he would see through her facade, and that he would want nothing to do with such a broken, twisted family such as hers.
”I want to see you again, Aura.”
His voice was eager, making her own eagerness bounce through her entire body, “Me too,” she gushed, “I mean, I want to see you again too, Adam.”
”Awesome. Hey, I could come pick you up. Maybe we could get a date shake and drive down to the beach, check out the waves …”
”That sounds perfect.” Aura whispered, feeling light headed at the thought of how perfect it truly would be.
”Do you surf? If not, I could teach you.”
”Oh, I don’t know how, but that sounds fun. And scary.”
Adam laughed softly, “Hey, no worries, babe. I could totally teach you, but maybe not on our first date. Maybe we’ll just watch the waves first.”
Aura felt like she was somehow detached from her body. He’d called her babe. And he’d used the word date in a sentence that included her. She’d read the word swoon before, and now she suddenly fully comprehended it.
”That sounds wonderful, Adam.”
”How about this afternoon, say about two? Would that work?”
”Today?” Aura couldn’t help but feel flustered. She hadn’t expected it to be so soon. She needed time to figure it out.
“Is that too soon? Guess I’m really anxious to see you again, is all.”
Aura’s mind was working out the logistics already. She had never wanted something so badly. She had to find a way.
”No,” she blurted, “No, it’s okay. I can meet you at two. I’ll be waiting outside the entrance.”
”Oh, hey, I can drive in to pick you up at your spot, babe. Meet the parents and all that. I can’t have you thinking I’m not a gentleman, now can I?”
”No,” she said, too quickly, as horror grabbed hold of her, “No, it’s not that, Adam. I, uh, of course I know that you are a gentleman, but, but my, uhm, my, well, it’s just easier if I meet you outside the entrance. You can meet my parents another time.”
“Well, if you’re sure, then okay, I can pick you up outside the entrance. Whatever is easiest for you. No worries, babe.”
Aura felt her shoulders relax, as joy bubbled back up inside of her at the thought of seeing him again.
”So then I will see you at two?”
“Absolutely. I’ll be driving a red convertible with the top down, babe.”
Aura hung up the phone, “Somebody pinch me.” She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall, feeling like if she didn’t have support, she might lose her ability to stand upright.
She suddenly felt a pinch on her arm. Her eyes jerked open. Sage was grinning like a maniac.
”What are you doing here?” She shrieked, automatically wondering how much he’d heard.
“I overheard you talking to Mom.”
”Yeah, well what else did you overhear, you little snoop?”
”I heard enough to know that you plan on sneaking away to meet someone named Adam.”
Aura didn’t fail to catch the worry that was etched across his face.
“It’s not for you to worry about,” she scolded him, “None of this is yours to worry about, so don’t.”
”I don’t care if you go, Aura,” he grinned from ear to ear, the exact way that their mother did none too often, but when it happened you took notice, “In fact, I think it’s awesome, but Dad is going to kill you if he finds out.”
”He’s not going to find out.”
Sage took a slow look around, and Aura recognized that he was keeping an eye out for their father. Her lips flattened in anger. It was a behavior that she recognized because it was what she always did. What she always had to do, and now her baby brother was doing it too.
“I know. I’ll cover for you somehow …”
”No you won’t,” Aura grabbed his thin arm, “You listen to me, Sage, you are not doing anything but going back home and keeping your nose out of my business, you hear me?”
He nodded, as he tried to pull his arm free.
She gripped it even tighter, determined to imprint the seriousness of her words on him, “I mean it, Sage. You are not going to do a damn thing. You aren’t going to try to cover for me, you aren’t going to try to protect me either. Especially that. Even if I get caught and he comes after me,” her eyes caught his and held his gaze, “You stay out of it. I can handle it. I always have, haven’t I?”
He dropped his eyes as he nodded, reluctantly, and then he raised them again, and she spotted a new fire in them. She didn’t like that, not one bit.
”Aura, he can’t keep getting away with it,” his voice was soft, but hard too, “With hitting you and Mom. I won’t let him. I’m getting stronger, and bigger. I could stop him. I know I could. Glen and I, we’ve talked about it. We could jump him together, so you could get away …”
Aura gasped in horror, “Sage, no! No, absolutely not,” her fingers bit into his arm with renewed fervor, “You’ll only make it worse. I don’t want that, and neither does Mom.”
”But it’s wrong, Aura, and he needs to be stopped.”
She released him, “I promise, Sage, that I can handle Dad. I promise. You have to believe me. I love you, dude. You know that, don’t you?”
“I know.”
”Okay, good. Then you know that the only thing that would make me happy is for you to let me handle everything the way I’ve always done …”
”It’s not the only thing that would make you happy.” a teasing grin played at his lips.
”Why, you scamp.” She bonked him softly on his head and he darted away, heading back to the camper. She followed, trying hard to hold onto the moment of lightheartedness.
*
Aura’s eyes flew up to the clock on the microwave. Another hour and she would have to make her move. She’d been wracking her brain trying to figure out how she was going to get away to meet Adam, but it was Glen who’d come up with the perfect solution. He had a model car kit that their dad had picked up from a thrift store but it hadn’t included the glue, and he’d been whining about it for the past hour, so she was going to offer to walk down to the craft store and pick some up. It wasn’t a guarantee that her father would allow it, but with the way that Glen was going on and on, she felt like it might work.
Suddenly, her dad stuck his head inside the camper. He looked at her, “Come on, we’re going for a drive.”
Panic swept through her but she hid it well, “What?”
”I said let’s go. We’re going for a drive.”
”Now?” Aura found her mom, but her mom just shrugged.
”Yes, now! What the hell is wrong with you?”
Aura jumped up and went to the door. He stepped back and she followed him out. The car was already running. She started to walk around to the passenger side but he said, “You’re driving.”
”Where are we going?” She asked, when she’d slid behind the wheel.
”Thought we’d run over to a friend’s place. He’s got some plastic cement he’ll probably let me have so we can shut your damn brother up.”
Sighing inwardly, Aura just nodded. She’d have to come up with another reason then. She put the car in drive and drove slowly through the campsite until they reached the main road.
“Take a right.” He instructed her.
”So what’s this guy’s name?” Aura asked him, conversationally.
”Rudy.”
”I never heard you talk about him before. When did you meet?”
She saw movement out of the corner of her eye and felt him flick his finger against the side of her head painfully as he said, “None of your damn business, is it now? When you reach the light take another right.”
Chastised, Aura did as she was told until they pulled into a long driveway that led up to a small house. She turned the ignition off and sat still, hoping that he’d run in, but of course that didn’t happen.
”Let’s go. You can meet Rudy.”
They went up to the door and were immediately met by the sound of dog’s barking.
”Shut up, you useless piece of shit.” A man’s voice bellowed.
The door opened.
“Hey, look who’s here.” The man stepped back and ushered them inside the small, messy living room.
”Rudy, my man, let me introduce you to my daughter, Aura. Aura say hi to Rudy.”
Thrust forward by her father’s firm hand at the small of her back, Aura quickly said “hello,” while simultaneously giving the man the once over. He was maybe ten or so years younger than her father. He had a receding hairline and a paunch that shoved through the thin material of his muscle car T-shirt. His eyes were giving her the once over as well, and it made her feel dirty, somehow.
”Well look at you, huh?” Rudy grinned, giving Aura the chance to see that he obviously didn’t brush his teeth much. He gave her father a wink, “She’s a beauty, Cliff, just like you said.”
”You talked about me?” The words left her mouth before she could stop them.
Her father grabbed her arm and she could feel his fingers pinch in warning, “Go sit down, and let us talk business, girl.”
Aura searched the space, finally taking a seat on the sofa that was half buried beneath piles of clothes and car parts. She watched as the men moved into another room. A red haze seemed to be taking over her vision and her heart was thrumming in her throat. She couldn’t seem to move her mind off of why they’d been talking about her. Why had they been talking about her? It didn’t make any sense. Or, maybe it did, but her brain refused to ruminate on that particular notion. Instead, she sat for at least ten minutes listening to their muted conversation, that was periodically punctuated by rounds of convivial laughter, hoping and praying that she would still have time to get back to the camper, and find a way to meet Adam.
Suddenly, the two men came back out into the living room. Aura was grateful when her father said, “Aura, come say goodbye to Rudy.”
She could feel their eyes upon her as she stood up and moved carefully around a dog bed and a coffee table that was covered in old pizza boxes and more parts of some sort. When she reached them, she lowered her eyes and whispered, “It was nice to meet you, Rudy.”
“What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.” Rudy leaned closer.
Aura reflexively moved a half step back, but her father yanked her back, so close to Rudy that she could feel his breath on her face, and instructed, “Say it again, louder this time, girl.”
No matter how much she knew it would make her father mad, Aura couldn’t make herself look at Rudy as she said, once again, and louder, “It was nice to meet you, Rudy.”
Rudy laughed as he reached out and patted her on her back, “Hey, it’s no big thing. I just like the sound of your voice, beautiful.”
”Alright, well we’ll be getting out of your hair,” her father pulled her along as they headed for the door, “thank you for the plastic cement, Rudy,” he paused, and looked back, “And think on what I said, man. It’d sure make it easier if we traveled together.”
Aura stumbled out of the door, Rudy’s words chasing after her, “Well now that I’ve seen your girl, hell, I’d be dumber than a peanut butter sandwich to say no, but yeah, I’ll let you know for sure once I rent this place out.”
“Drive.” Her father barked, as they reached the car.
As she started the car and backed awkwardly down the driveway, Aura couldn’t help but blurt, “What did you mean by saying it would be easier if we traveled together?”
”I’m trying to get him to go with us up the coast. We could use an extra hand, in case the camper breaks down, not to mention,” he rubbed his fingers together, “He’s got dinero.”
”I still don’t understand why you took me.” She turned left when she reached the street.
“He could be a good man to get to know, girl, so I suggest you be nice to him.”
Alarm bells jangled in her brain as her fingers gripped the hot steering wheel, “Why? Why do I have to be nice to him?” She knew. She knew but she still had to hear it from him.
”Because I said so!” He snapped.
She looked over at him, saw the redness in his face, knew that the subject was making him uncomfortable, and still said, “You don’t get to give me to him like I’m a doll and not a real person.”
The thump came. Of course it came. Hard against the side of her face, rocking her head sideways, bringing tears to her eyes. She had stopped at a light on a hill that led down to the rocky cliff that overlooked the shimmering sea. She wiped her face with the back of her hand and sniffed back her tears. He wasn’t going to change. His rot would eventually seep through the innocence of her younger siblings, like a plague, killing everything it touched, warping their thoughts, hardening their softness, eroding their sense of trust until all that was left was a broken down mind full of anxiety and fear.
The light changed. The road stretched out in front of her like an arrow showing her the way. She put her foot on the gas and pressed it all the way down to the floor.
“What the fuck are you doing, Aura?” Her dad screamed, as he reached for the wheel.
Aura knocked his hand away with a force that surprised them both.
The car was picking up speed as it rocketed down the hill. The sea was a siren calling her home. She thought of Adam, wondered what he would think when she didn’t show. Knew that it was better that she didn’t show. Better for him, anyway. Almost angrily, she swiped at her tears.
In a true panic now, her father lunged for the wheel again, and again, Aura managed to knock him back.
She thought of her mother then, knowing that this would set her free, and it was a balm for her soul.
Her father’s cries were filling the car, alternating between angry screeching and keening wails, the sounds oddly comforting. For once in her life, she felt what her father must have felt all the many, many times that he’d stood over her or her mother, doling out slaps or punches so easily. The power was intoxicating, but it made her feel ashamed. She was no better than him. Not currently. But she could be. She could.
Aura lifted her foot off the gas pedal and steadily pushed down on the brakes. The sea was ever so near. She had no idea if the car would stop in time. She resolved herself to whatever would be.
By the time the car reached the bottom of the hill, the speed had slowed enough so that Aura could make a sharp, screeching turn onto the stretch of road that bordered the cliff. The car came to a stop.
”Get out,” she said, “Get the hell out of the car right fucking now.”
“Now just a damn min…”
“Get out right fucking now, or I swear…”
”Okay, okay.” He fumbled with his seatbelt and then opened the car door and stepped out onto the road.
”Close it.” Aura ordered.
He did as he was told.
She threw the car in drive and slammed on the accelerator, watching her father grow smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror.
As she reached the campsite turnoff, she saw the red convertible waiting for her. She was going to tell him everything. He would stay, or maybe he would go. Either way, Aura knew that she was going to be just fine because, today, she had decided that she was choosing to fight, and boy, was she ever ready.